OF HOT CROSS BUNS AND DOOMSDAY

There are those songs we listened to as kids and grew up to find them completely not the hot cross buns sorts(hahahahahaa) that we should have linked to childhood. I find myself confused as to why and how did my parents not revolt to my obviously promiscuous taste in music even as I was all of 25 inches( i know what you're thinking). Then there was the cartoon network and that episode on power puff girls when everyone turned into cats and finally when they save the world by turning everyone back to humans the mayor is licking a cat's kitty. The more I think back the more I find content that could have been hilarious if I was an adult but I wasn't- and I never thought the mayor was a horny guy. Now I'm all of 68 inches(now you know better) and my brain finds amusement in innocuous men holding hands on the pavement. Dirty is the new favorite word in my brain and mostly everything makes sense with that being the logic. Maybe the origin to this development stems from these affectations that I was afflicted with as a kid but that's a discussion for another time. I'm going to post my musical timeline that are identifiers to the different times I was a part of and you can laugh with me if you felt the same damn way.  In fact, post your favorite tunes and obviously corresponding inches in case you want to feel stupid happy.

Infancy
Ya of course I remember that song. Mama's loudest decibel point and it was the same with you. I am surprised we  mostly come out with decent hearing. Hmmm actually maybe we all had that expendable ears range but that screaming deafened us and leaves us as mere mortals :( Now we can't be Goerge or Fred Weasley.

25 inches
Boom Boom Boom,
I want you in my room
gonna spend the night together
together in my room.
Don't you lie to me, I know you loved that one too. I still don't know what to say. I loved everything sweet, boys traded scratches with me and I thought one day i'd fly on a cow to Pluto.

40 inches
Backstreet Boys. Blue eyes was my drug then and I dreamt of shipping off to the U.S. and marrying Nick. I can't believe i'm owning up to it. But well, every other boy smelled strange, I wore two plaids and my favorite instrument was my cool merry- go- round sharpener.

58 inches
Now it was time to finally grow up and I certainly did. System of a down and Slipknot teamed with some harmless vandalism helped make me feel normal and calmed me down. I could rap to Chopsuey with a sort of vigour the bloody nazis would never know since they already were grown men and I bet they had a nagging suspicion about Hitler( I'm guessing because of his choice of moustache and general fashion sense)

68 inches
This is Class 10 by the way-and i haven't grown since :/ I remember watching my juniors in school singing Avril's girlfriend tune to death and I was a little obsessed with mass murders due to this. Think about it- What is the most creative way to kill 10 or 12 class 6 girls and be called generous. I never found the answer- i mostly thought of stilettos but that's coz i couldn't walk in them without feeling slightly suicidal. Anyway I already had a couple of crushes, I belonged to ze coolest band- Deranged Angst and I wondered what my identity was and if this life meant anything- yup teens! I guess i am a late bloomer. Evanescence rocked my world and I could fake sing in my Amy Lee falsetto pretty well.

68 inches, 50 kgs
This is college and Stephens allowed me to sink my teeth into the world music scene and suddenly Porcupine Tree, Brahms, Jacqueline du pre, Sigur Ros, and the like became my retreat from bad days and that was mostly everyday. I had realized that now you had to study to score a 70  percent and that never sat too well on me. So I found my space, the delhi free bird. That entailed being a slacker; albeit a bindi wearing, cool music peddling, Murakami reading snob.

Now i'm 58 kgs and well I listen to all music including Katy Perry on that day when I know there will be more days. Right now i'm wondering about the future of mankind and that's why i went back to my childhood and the answer was clear- it's Rebecca Black and her groupies taking it over- Doomsday is close. We had Vengaboys and well ignore the lyrics but they had a good tune. Now it's hot problems (people please listen to it if you haven't because education is best off google- it's free!) and most music involves no real instrument (read edm, trance, dark dub step- dammit there are too many genres).
What I wonder is that will my kids be singing to 99 different orgy styles and will their Prince Charming be a Delhi boy. Oh I hate those deodrant stinking amplifier listening tight tee wearing breed. But that's coz I grooved to Celine Dion too.

I think my father did it for me with his Deep Purple records and evening guitar strumming sessions.  Now I breathe air and I listen to music. What am i listening to right now?
Zara Zara Behekta Hain from RHTDM but in my defense that's not an everyday thing- I'm feeling sentimental and i don't trust men.

THE CONSTIPATION REMEDY

Hola,

I saw my friend looking up the astrology section of the sunday newspaper hoping to find a divine solution to her love-woes-Domestic disputes are likely to afflict you and tact and calm can help you tide through these times. Well, I think it makes for a good joke and i'm sure Ganesha and venus and Madonna would enjoy this over some green tea. Most of us like to imagine that there is an external explanation to the shit we are in and sometimes you might be right but the truth I believe is that you brought it on yourself. You decided to join a medical school, go for auditions everyday, sleepwalk to the nearest garbage truck and maybe, god forbid, make choices to be happy. The What to do to be happy being the most difficult decision. Now that road is filled with unpaid bills, cheap food, and unemployment. We are here this one time for sure and you don't know if you're coming back-maybe as an Antelope but that doesn't count ever. You never chose your parents, sure you raced but that race was rigged and you made it through your pushy/sweet/understanding/cruel/bad-breathed/awesome mother with your father looking down at your closed eyes deciding where would she/he fit. Indeed your infant bones show promise so you become a cricketer or your head is slightly larger so you're obviously finding the 4th law of motion.  Whatever is your deformity is your parent's hope for a slightly better future for you. But have we once sat and thought about who do we want to be exactly and found the answer? Mostly we know what we don't want to be but beyond that it's a nice cozy hole reserved for your dreams and you forget all about it when you wake up to your alarm to rush to college.

Now this is what I think is important.

Smiling a lot. And cracking bad jokes. Chances are your jokes will get better and more people will smile.
Do what you like. If you like writing then write. If not a 1000 page novel then at least a damn blog and don't write once a year. That doesn't count(yep that's for me)
Make some good friends who'll keep you sane through the race that never ended.
Don't hurt other people-you'll only hurt yourself-if you manage to live beyond 50. Regrets stem from decisions you made and not the ones others made for you.
Don't hurt yourself.
And those choices to be successful/rich/famous, throw them out the window wrapped in expensive toilet paper.

Now you think you don't really know what you want but the truth is there is something you always enjoyed doing and chances you'd have been damn good at it but you never tried. Now you're stuck in college doing a course in advanced zoology but for you these guys look best on a plate dead. You're in for a bad year so you go to that store and buy yourself a guitar and strum your hunger away. Whatever it is you like invest some time in them. You definitely won't regret it and maybe you'll even make the G3 tour. But if you don't it still doesn't matter.

I'm not preaching. I have friends who told me to drink water since i'm always constipated and it worked. So i'm telling you what I know. I have my guitar, I sing loudly in the shower, paint my walls and write my blog every two weeks. And I know what I want most-   giddy lightness.